Hello From Paintpocalypse 2014

June 18, 2014

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

I know, I know, you are just dying to hear all about the neverending painting saga and see loads of crappy iphone progress shots. You are in luck, my friend, because that is about all my paint fume-riddled brain can handle today, or possibly even this week.

Hold onto your butts:

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

Whoever painted the living room trim lavender did so right over numerous strips of regular clear tape. There have been a lot of dubious decisions in this apartment’s history.

At some point during hours of spackling, sanding, and taping two weeks ago, I had the insane moronic GENIUS idea that it would make sense to paint the bedroom at the same time as the living room. The thought process took about two seconds and went something like this:

GENIUS IDEA BRAIN: You know what would be really great? Painting the bedroom at the same time as the living room!

ME: Yes! Two rooms in one go! We’ll get it done in a weekend!

GENIUS IDEA BRAIN: I’m so smart!

A. should have tranquilized me and hidden the paint rollers when I told him. Because there’s something you may not know about me: I have never painted a room before. 

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

Wally inspects his relocated box.

But as a cocky DIYer who has tackled all sorts of projects big and small I was totally like, “Psshht, I got this.” I had NO. FRIGGIN. CLUE. how labor intensive painting a room is.

For any other painting virgins out there, don’t be fooled by the “easy painting tips and tricks” posts plastered all over Pinterest. It is labor intensive and time consuming and just damned hard.

There is paint everywhere. In my cuticles. On my razor after shaving my legs this morning. On Jax’s whiskers.

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

Just one of the many holes in the plaster.

My right hand is now permanently fused to the grip of my 2.5″ angled sash brush. My left hand tried really hard to remember its ambidextrous beginnings and pick up some of the slack, but failed dramatically and just ended up swollen from muscle strain. My feet hurt from standing all day, my knees are bruised from kneeling.

And the hilarity is, we’re only just done priming.

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

See that blob of salmon pink? That used the be the wall color in the bedroom.

Paintpocalypse 2014, Or Why I'm Never Painting a Room Again || Jade and Fern

And the trim used to be bubblegum pink. Painting trim anything other than white should be a crime.

Why is it taking sooooo long? Well, we’re painting two rooms ceiling to baseboard. There’s miles of trim and it’s horridly pitted and bumpy from years of terrible paint jobs. The plaster is crumbled in spots and requires a delicate (read: ineffective) touch. We’re going over grey and lavender, which both need extra coats of primer.

And apparently, I suck at painting rooms.

After this mess is done, I’m sticking to furniture and crafts and yummy treats and never painting a room again.

It’ll be worth it though, right?

RIGHT?

I’m signing off now, I literally need to go ice my achey hands.

I’d love to hear your stories of painting encouragement or fellow commiseration! Who here has painted a room before, and how did it go?

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6 thoughts on “Hello From Paintpocalypse 2014

  1. Lidy

    Oh girl, I know your pain! I hate painting walls/ceilings with a passion. And it NEVER helps when it’s an older home with crappy paint jobs prior. Our doors and trim still are peeling from previous homeowners. Laziness is to blame no doubt! So, I know just how you feel – but the beautiful thing is, when you piece your room back together again and all is said and done, you will be so happy you did it! And you will hire a painter to do it next time ;) haha

    Can’t wait to see the room when it’s all done, keep up the good work friend.

    XO

    Reply
    1. Marlene @ Jade and Fern Post author

      Thank you so much Lidy! I needed some words of encouragement. :) I do think it will look great when it’s finished, even just with the primer the rooms already feel so much brighter. And you are right–I will definitely hire painters next time! :)

      xoxo

      Reply
  2. Amy @ Homey Oh My!

    I hate to say that I really enjoyed reading this since it was at the cost of your pain… but this is helpful to see for a paint noob like me. I’m far from tackling a painting project this big, but I know I will have to in the future… or not, since the lesson seems to be hire a painter hahaha. Still! You had a less than ideal canvas to start with. Mad props. Can’t wait to see it finished!
    Amy @ Homey Oh My! recently posted…DIY Fireworks Drink Stirrers- Patriotic Summer Blog HopMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Marlene @ Jade and Fern Post author

      Wow, 10 rooms! That is now my new nightmare. But I’m glad to know it will pay off. I’m half done with the top coat in the bedroom now, and it does look good; can’t WAIT to be finished! Thanks for stopping by Kerry!

      Reply

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